Blackburn Consulting

Contact Us Today!

JOMO vs. FOMO

by Leave a Comment

JOMO vs. FOMO? What is that? JOMO is the “Joy of Missing Out” while FOMO is the “Fear of Missing Out”. I stumbled across the term JOMO recently and was intrigued. It hit home with me because I have spent the last 6 months or more being intentional in my time and what I accept and say “yes” to. I’ve become even more critical of how I spend my time in the last 3-4 weeks. You see I have specific goals I want to accomplish and I don’t want to work longer hours to make them happen. 

On a recent call with my business coach she said something to me that left a lasting impact on me. She said if I wanted to accomplish the goals that I told her about then I was going to have to get super focused with my time and it would piss many people off. She said that the average person won’t understand. I heard her and I got it. When doing higher things that you have ever done then you must strip away all those things are are not important or lead to your mission and goal.

Over a year ago I stopped all networking. Now don’t get me wrong, networking is amazing and I love it but it is super time consuming. Building relationships takes time but also what I realized is that many people are very superfical. As long as you are in their presence and they think they can get something from you then they are talking you up but the minute you step away they forget you. This isn’t real relationship building. It is what so many get wrong about networking. But what I discovered is the reason I continued to go to networking events was FOMO. So I stopped and guess what, I didn’t miss out on anything else. Instead, so much time was opened up in my schedule. 

How many things are you doing right now because of FOMO? I had to take a real hard look at my life, personal and professional and see where I was experiencing FOMO. Do I really need to attend that event? Do I really need to be part of this group? When you take away the fear of missing out you will discover that there is many things that can go from your busy schedule. I like white space in my schedule. Time for self care. Time to work on my business. Time to spend with my family. Time alone. If I pack it with all the things I think I need to do then there is no room for those things. So now more than ever I am loving this idea of JOMO. I look for things that I can drop out of so I can spend more time on the things I really want to be doing. And let me say there is such freedom in this!

So look at your day or week. In what ways are you packing your schedule with things because you fear missing out? 

Be Your Own Hero

by Leave a Comment

I can’t count the number of times friends tell me they wish they could bottle my chutzpah. While having a conversation with a friend recently she stopped in mid sentence and looked at me and said, “I could never be like you. You are stronger than me.” Now most people would consider this type of conversation flattering and while it is on a small level it also irritates me highly. Why?

I am a big believer in you can do, be or say anything that you want to be. So many people applaud me for standing up for what I believe in, calling people on their sh** and setting boundaries but they stop short of doing it for themselves. And again I ask why?

Because it is hard to hold the line on your boundaries, to tell people that their behavior is not acceptable, to be firm on what you believe in even if it hurts and alienates you from others. It can be a very lonely road and not an easy one at that.  

But to me it is simple. . Be. Your. Own. Hero. No one else is going to show up and fight battles for you. My friends try to get me to fight theirs all the time. They give plenty of excuses why they can’t do it for themselves. But the honest answer is they don’t want to be uncomfortable. They want someone else to do the hard work. They want someone else to be the bad guy. They are dying to fit in.

And let’s face it, it is hard work being your own hero. Many times it leads to a very lonely place where others can’t follow. It requires you to take a hard look at who you are, what your issues are and work to resolve them. To really, truly be the person you look up to at the end of the day. I don’t think there is much anyone can say to me that is negative that I have not heard before. I am very aware of my faults as well as my strengths. The older I get, the more I work on my faults and celebrate my strengths. That is who I am. I celebrate all the weird, quirky stuff about me. The fact that I’m loud and opinionated. That I am bold and too honest. But that is what makes me my own hero too. Because I have learned to be my biggest fan and in doing so I have found I can accomplish so much more than I ever believed. 

What about you? Are you struggling today? Why not step up? Be your own hero…

Distractions, Distractions everywhere

by Leave a Comment

​

​

 

My daughter got in the car from summer camp. I asked her how her day was and she started complaining about how her friends began yelling at her during the game to sit down because she ran past the blocker. She said that everyone was yelling her name over and over saying, sit down!!!! She ignored them for a while because she knew she was right and didn’t have to sit down. She knew the rules of the game. But, eventually she got tired of the yelling, gave in and sat down only to find out she was right after all. 

 

This make me think of life as a business owner. When we start out we have these plans and dreams of what we are going to do with our business. We open up shop and get to work excited to share with the world what we offer. But somewhere in that first year we run into “those people”. You know the ones. They tell you how you are doing it all wrong or how your idea won’t work or how you should do things like they did. I call them distractions. Now don’t get me wrong, we all can use good advice and wisdom in running our businesses but then there are those that simply distract us. 

Sometimes they distract us for a moment, a day, or a week but sometimes it can be much longer and they can even derail us completely or discourage us to the point that we want to give up. Running a business is hard enough without the distractors. 

Here are 3 things that have helped me when the distractors show up:

1) Ask yourself if what they had to say was worthwhile. Is this something that is truly going to help you or is it just opinion? If it will help you then use it as wisdom, if not then chuck it and move on. 

2) Ignore it. If you find yourself getting derailed by others advice then ignore it and keep on your path. If someone is simply giving you their opinion and it’s not something that is illegal or harmful to you in some way then ignore it and move forward! 

3) Smile, thank them and do what the hell you want anyway. This is typically my choice. I smile and thank them for their input and then I do exactly what I wanted to in the first place. I do listen to the advice of others but I find so much of the advice that I don’t solicit is useless. 

If you are on a mission and distractors are getting to you, stop and try one of these. Whatever you do, don’t get discouraged and give up. Just because they say your idea won’t work or that you should do it differently doesn’t mean you should! At the end of the day it is your business. 

 

Be a FORCE in Business

by Leave a Comment

Be a FORCE in Business

 This article is by guest poster, Allan Younger.  Allan is the Director of the Small Business Center at Forsyth Technical Community College, owner of GRACE Consulting, and teaches business classes to undergrad students at Winston Salem State University and Salem College. He has written more than 30 locally published magazine articles about business development. Allan’s wife is also an entrepreneur of a dance apparel store. He serves as her marketing consultant. Allan strongly believes that business leaders must be actively engaged in their communities. 

 This month, I want to discuss the concept of being a FORCE in business. Each year, I attend a small business summit in January sponsored by Guilford Technical Community College. The entire day is designed to start each year off with a bang for hundreds of current and prospective business owners. The message of one of the speakers really intrigued me. I quickly connected with Ivey Ghee on LinkedIn and asked her for permission to share some of the great things that I learned. She graciously agreed to allow me to introduce you to the concept of FORCE (in my words). In order to be a FORCE in business, the following is needed:

1. Faith – In order for others to believe in us, we must believe in ourselves. I often meet business owners who do not seem convinced in their ability to succeed.
2. Ownership – We encourage our clients to hold themselves accountable to the good and the bad aspects of their businesses. Sometimes when things are not going well, we tend to find other people or things to
blame. This should not be the case.
3. Resources – We have assembled a large number of resources in our Small Business Center and online. We are also connected to more than 20 organizations in Forsyth and Stokes counties that provide services to
small businesses.
4. Commitment – Dedication is essential. Unfortunately, many people that we meet are not 100% committed to the success of their ventures. That lack of commitment is often clear to potential customers and partners.
5. Energy – We must be passionate about our business ventures. In other words, we must have the drive and determination needed to be successful. If we do not, we cannot expect others to get excited when
we show up.

You may learn about our services at www.forsythtech.edu. Feel free to stop by our office at 525@Vine in Wake Forest Innovation Quarter just east of the heart of downtown Winston- Salem. You may also contact us at SBC@forsythtech.edu or by calling (336) 757-3810.

The objective of the Small Business Center at Forsyth Tech is to help small businesses succeed by providing high quality, readily accessible assistance to prospective and existing business owners in Forsyth and Stokes counties. Our motto is “Increasing Business Success,” which describes our commitment to clients. The N.C. Community College’s Small Business Center Network assists in starting an average of more than 700 businesses each year and the centers have an economic impact in 90 percent of all N.C. counties each year, helping to create and retain over 3,800 jobs annually. Article appeared in Black Business Ink Magazine 2018.

Scarcity vs. Abundance – Behaviors

by Leave a Comment

Scarcity Mindset vs. Abundance – Behaviors

So you are working on moving from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance but what does that exactly look like in your behavior? What changes occur that make a difference? Just because you are thinking differently doesn’t mean you are going to act on it. Yeah, so that is the point. You have to take action. You can’t just think different, you have to do different. We talked about reframing last time as a tool to change your mindset. Reframing your thoughts is a great step to reframing your actions. 

  • Where am I going to find my next customers? Reframe: My customers will come because I am going to offer high value services that they want and I will market to my niche so they know what is available to them. 
  • You have to constantly hustle or the competition is going to crush you. Reframe: You can actually work with your competitors to serve the clients. There is more than enough for everyone. Collaboration is much better than competition. 
  • I don’t have what it takes to do _________. Reframe: I am confident and brave enough to be seen. I know I have what it takes to do the job. 
  • There isn’t enough __________. Reframe: There is more than enough _____________ (fill in the blank).
  • Fear of missing out (FOMO). Reframe: I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing today. 
  • If I don’t fight for myself no one will. Reframe: I don’t have to fight. 
  • I’m so busy. Reframe: My time is spent doing exactly what I want to do. 

So how do we take these reframed thoughts and turn them into actions? 

Reframing our actions

Once you reframe your thoughts then it is time to show what you are made of and walk the talk. Once you reframe your thoughts you will find it makes you step up your game. What do I mean? Here’s an example. My customers will come because I am going to offer high value services that they want and I will market to my niche so they know what is available to them. Now you actually have to work on developing high value services, marketing those services, discovering your niche and your best client (if you don’t already know) and then develop a plan to draw in those desired customers. This is a tall order but do you see how changing it from a worry statement to a confident statement gave you an action plan?

Another favorite of mine that when reframed gives a clear action plan. “I’m so busy” turned into “My time is spent doing exactly what I want to do.” Well, if my time is spent doing exactly what I want to do then I’ve got to get busy changing alot of things. This is a big one for me because I was too busy. I still am busy but it is getting better. Why you may ask? I reframed the “I’m so busy” and realized that the problem is I wasn’t doing exactly what I want to do. So I started to put things in motion that changed that and made the statement true. The reason I say I’m still busy is that it isn’t an overnight change. Big changes take time and sometimes we must take action in baby steps but all action is good and moves us in the right direction. Now instead of just thinking in abundance I’m moving towards living in abundance too.              

Living in Abundance 

So what changes do you need to make in your “stinking thinking”? Start out by writing out your scarcity thoughts and then once you’ve identified them then rewrite them into a positive reframing thought. Once you have reframed then do any actions jump out that you can take? Share with us how you are implementing this in your life.